I want to break free

 The subject line sums it up perfectly. I am ready. I am so ready to be able to take control of my missionary life. I am so ready to not to feel like I am being looked down upon and be able to develop better teaching finding and contacting skills on my own. I want to train so bad and I will find out sometime this week!

But the subject line also refers to a song I heard while walking on the street. You know that song? I want to break free? It just fits so perfectly. These past 11 weeks have been killer. When you are in the midst of a trial you grow, you rely on the Lord, you really do give it your all. I am trying to see my weaknesses so I can be healed faster, because the more I perfect myself the better I am able to serve others and bring them unto Christ. As I look back on my training, I can see a change in myself. If I am honest I can really take a transcendent view of where I used to be a year ago and where I am now and I can see a difference.

Because it was my bday people have asked if I feel older and usually when it is your birthday you don’t really feel much older because life is a slow progression of growth. But I feel older. I feel more self reliant. I feel more mature. I can feel it and it is cool. I am excited. I love leadership and being able to have responsibility and have something to do and keep my focus, I haven’t been able to do that at all. I haven’t been able to have a say in many things at all. I haven’t and now I will be able to. I am going to treat my new comp like a king. I am going to do what he wants to do for a change. And we are going to TALK! So many of the problems in companionship's could be solved with communication. SOOOOOOOO many problems could be throw out the window if there was communication. It has gotten better since the beginning. estoy listo

I love hearing about the family and all that is going on.  I did hear about the France thing from a member on Friday. They told me it was a bomb and that is all I heard so a lot of it is new about isis and stuff. World war 3 how crazy!

This week. Here it is. Just the highlights. This internet is slow....
Monday was my birthday and we went to the beach which was awesome! I loved it so much! I had fish too! We got special permission from president to be able to eat fish at this restaurant since it was fresh. I talked with Elder McFarland the whole time practically. Our whole zone and the other neighboring zone all went so there were alot of us. It was fun. The beach itself was not huge, pretty small but way fun. SOOOO beautiful. We were there in a little fishing town so not a tourist place. But it reminded me of when we went to Mexico. That whole beachside scene but the beach was not as big!

I got a huge pupusa that night too. My comp wasn’t gonna go and when I told him that the ladies were going to make one for me he said that he forgot! haha super awesome! Tuesday we had a good lesson with our investigator who is preparing for this next Sunday to be baptized! Finally. Our lessons are good but could be so much better. She is prepared though. And that night I had my fifth dinner with a family other than on Sunday!!! It was great. They feed you beans with bread and eggs, or sautéed veggies with hot dog slices. The beans and bread are soooo good. Then you have coke or either juice. So delicious. It really tastes good!

Wednesday was great too. We had our weekly planning and at the end of weekly planning you have  a comp inventory but we usually have never done that but this time we did. My comp told me things that I was doing good and he told me that I was a really good missionary and was happy to be my comp. That made me feel like I was on top of the world. First it was weird then I saw that he really meant it. I said thanks. I did the same and told him his strengths and my advice to him was to talk more. He has started to talk more. It was great. But that day just set the tone for the rest of the week! I never looked at him bad. Anyways it was a good day. The communication only got a little tiny bit better but hey I got better!! He is just soooo quiet. Just the most silent person I know. It is crazy.

That day it rained soooo hard. We used an umbrella to keep us from mojandonos. I held it and we walked under the same umbrella so that was good comp bonding time!! The streets are literal rivers. It is insane how much water can fall from the sky!!

Thursday our 17 year old ward mission leader came out with us all day, he is rock solid and will be a reallllyy good missionary. He needs a little bit more of a backbone though but he is incredible!!!!!!!!!! Our lessons that day were so fun! I loved walking and talking with him and being able to learn stuff about the language and El Salvador. We went to a special ward council that night with a stake leader there who talked about numbers and attendance of the ward. Apparently the ward is going to split soon! Sweet huh? So yeah it was a cool meeting!

Friday we had lunch with a member in the zls area with other missionaries to celebrate one of their birthdays and we had some awesome rice and chicken again but it was way better than the stuff I usually eat! So delicious. We had to wait for a little bit before the food was ready though so we played uno and I lost super bad everytime. It was awful. But they had a bball so I dribbled for a little bit and that was awesome too! All the girls here play bball so they are the good ones and the boys play futbol. Pretty cool.

We met with the familia H who are solid members in the ward and they were watching soccer. Brassila and Argentina tied. And El Salvador got roasted by Mexico. He was the one who told me about the bombing in France. He told me 118 dead so yea being a missionary you really are out of the loop.

Saturday it rained again but harder than ever. My shoes got so wet at like 3 pm so they were drenched all day long. Not too fun! We were out in the jungle when it started to rain and so the trails were the rivers so we had to walk on the side of the trails in the brush and that meant that we got even more wet. Incredible.

On Sunday we had a lot of less actives back to church. It is awesome to see them come! We are preparing two baptisms for this weekend on next Sunday. So if I am still here I will probably be able to baptize them.  I also gave a talk in church. The ward mission leader asked me to talk and so I prepared a little on Friday and Thursday but then I totally forgot Saturday and Sunday morning until I was sitting in the chapel singing the first hymn. I quickly got my planner out and wrote down what I remember I had planned  and some more things. I spoke on the plan of salvation and the need to make these things known to the world. After a lot of people told me that my Spanish was fluent and that it was really good. That made me feel good.

That night we had a lesson with a menos activo who has work on Sunday so she can’t come but she has a little son. We were there for a little and my comp shared a little thought and then the baby who is like 2 years old just started to scream its head off. And that is never pleasant, but my comp just kept talking and teaching and then the grandma had stuff to say and when the old people talk they never stop. I sat for 30 minutes just waiting to get out of there as my comp kept teaching. The baby screaming. The grandma talking. That was tough. I prayed and prayed to just keep calm and be patient.


At the end of the day yesterday I was about to be done. I could feel your prayers give me strength in that moment. I have felt your strength this week. I really have- this morning I did a ton of laundry. I am really a pro at washing by hand 36 articles of clothing including bedsheets. In an hour and 15 minutes. Beat that. Your hands get sore from wringing out clothes. kk I gotta go and I will send some pics and they probs won’t have captions. I love you all family!! Rock on. I am sooo stoked for changes and ready to conquer the world. Oh yeah, I also want to mention that I have seen everything. Central America has much to offer. Much of it is disturbing and gross. Really my eyes have been opened to the reality of the world. It is truly incredible. I love you all!!!!
Elder Ostler

Happy Birthday Elder Ostler!

What up Family? Holy a week. I could never make it without Christ's Atonement. First off, Benson when I read you email I just wept. Benson just know how much of an example you are and need to be to all those younger than you. Know that. I miss you dude. I remember when Harrison left I would think about him all the time too. I love you bud. Rock on.

A birthday selfie

Also thank you everybody for you birthday wishes and love and laughs. Today I got up early to make my birthday special, and I did laundry for an hour and a half all by hand and made some wickedly awesome and kind of bland oatmeal and did all the dishes! My comp has yet to wish me a happy birthday but I have learned as you self pity, you get less happy. In my 'training' I have learned soooooooooo much. I will make a list one day and send it to you of all the things I have learned. I look back and see it. Wowzers. And Amanda, I would love to make alfredo for you. Saydi you are the bomb. Wilson keep eating bananas and get radiation poisoning, dad show those boys how to work and Mom, Thank You. I love you Alll!!!

Monday we got home after our pday. We had played soccer and I sweat like a ton. But when we got home I realized I had two cell phones and was like crap, whose cell phone did I take?? Turns out I took the zls cell phone with me and ours. So we had to go back to the city of sonsonate, a 10 min bus ride and find them and give it back to them. My comp was soooooo mad with me, even though he said nothing, I could just tell, but I learn to just let it go. Don’t need to worry about things that aren't requiring worry.

Saydi your letter came and I read it in the photo printing shop and I just wept. You promised at the end that one day I would run, that I wouldn't have to be carried by Christ. Everyday I look back and see that I am being carried by Christ and there are only one set of footprints in the sand, and right now I am being carried, but at the prospect of me running one day was and has been far beyond even my thoughts. I pondered on those words of your letter again and while at a less active members house, relief was found in that letter. Thank you so much. I have read it so many times. One day I will run, and will not need to be carried.

Complete exhaustion

Tuesday during study I felt that I needed to fast, because my comp didn’t fast on last fast Sunday and so I didn’t, but Tuesday I took control of myself and so I fasted lunch and dinner. My prayer for my fast was incredible. When you let the spirit guide your words and thoughts you really are edified. I prayed for faith and strength for the future so I can be a light and beacon to others and that I can do all I can to help others. It was one of the if not the best fast I have ever had. Working all day with no food except for bfast is tough. And that night my comp went to buy pupusas! ahhh! I got some and ate them the next morning.

On Wednesday during comp study I had a 20 minute discussion with my comp about the way and method of teaching. So it started because evidently I did something wrong. . . . . . I then talked with patience and did not raise my voice, but I firmly stated my point of view and told him how I thought we could teach but with the language barrier and everything it was difficult. At the end he told me this. Elder I have experience in the mission and I have time that I have learned these things and you don’t have time in the mission so you have a lot to learn. I am trying.

On Thursday we had cake at zone conference for Elder B's birthday and that night we had a futbol game against the young men of the sonsonate ward. We got permission to go play soccer at the estaca that night at 7. It was legit. So fun. You know how much I love sports. Any sport. I loved it. It was incredible. I had sweated so much that I literally wrang my shirt out about a cup or more of sweat, I am not even kidding. It drenched through my absorbent garments tool. It was insane. I was drenched. But so fun. Then we couldn’t catch a bus home because they had stopped coming so we had to walk the streets of el salvador home at 9:00 at night from the stake center in the city and walked for 30 mins to get home. That I will never forget!

Exchanges with Elder Hallman in our Mosquito Nets

Friday I had exchanges again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Elder Hallman came to my area and we rocked it. 9 invitations to baptism all with a date. It was soooo much fun. We had the most spiritual lesson with a less active 25 year old and with her mom. We talked about the purpose, covenant and blessings of baptism then about the sacrament and invited them to come back to church. I saw the light in their eyes as they said yes.

So far on the mission I have eaten 162 pupusas!

Saturday was tough just getting slammed back with my companion. It was a robot of a day. Our numbers were super high, but that is because they were treated like numbers, not people. High numbers doesn't mean success if they are only numbers. It felt like such a long day that day.

Sunday we had 7 investigators at church. Another family kinda just showed up. We have two families who are in the process of being married but are really poor so it takes a long time. R came to church again and her little brother! She accepted a baptismal date for the 22 of November so that is exciting!!!!!!! I got a sponge cake last night from the people who we eat dinner with every other week. Like a big cake, but it is cinnamon and just the best thing ever so I will eat a lot of it tonight with my comp! And the pupusa ladies that we always buy from are going to make me a giant pupusa if we go, but last night I told my comp that I wanted to go and he said that I have to remind him to go, soooo I will drag him with me tonight at 8 o'clock to actually sit down for once and use our designated hour for dinner!!

Everytime I take a shower I do a cockroach and spider check before! There are ants everywhere!!!  The streets are a literal garbage can, because men come and rake the garbage out of the gutter the next morning. It is tempting and hard to not just throw your trash there, but I always keep it! And Saydi, they have bon o bon!!!!!! It is hot hot hot and their are supposed to be November winds here so we’ll see about that.

This is my last full week with the comp! For some reason God needs me here. I don’t know why and I have goals to do at least 2 things of service for my comp everyday. I don’t expect my comp to say happy birthday but that is okay. The mission is not for me anyways. You really come to understand your blessings. Those times when you are overflowed with joy and gratitude towards God for blessing you so much even while in the midst of trial. My Spanish is better and I can talk and understand pretty much everybody. The mission is not what I expected it to be.

My joints in my hands and wrist still hurt from chickengunya but ya know, life is never meant to be easy!! I love you all! Hastal luego till next week. Your letters are appreciated and your prayers are felt. I feel angels everyday bearing me up. I am wearing the green and black tie that Harry and Jack had on their missions. I get to play the uke every pday because our zl has one. He is awesome. I can’t wait for the day that I can run on my own. 10 more days. Lets do this.

Your Little brother, older brother, uncle, cousin nephew and son,
Elder Jwizzle Tipizzle Ostler

God answers prayers

Hoooyyyyy! ¿Familia! Como le va? Espero que todo esté bien en sus vidas y que todos sean felices!! I am doing better. My comp is still the same. Nothing has changed. However I have changed even more. I say that not to applaud myself but to inform you how it is better. Last week with the email I felt frustrated and sooooo burdened and beating myself up for what I have done wrong and that the trouble in the companionship is my fault. I felt weighted down by everything. I didn’t know what more I could do to make it better. That day, Monday, we were walking down the hill back into the valley of ourarea and I had been thinking and pondering on my feelings and praying and trying to have the spirit more and be at peace, but I couldn't for some reason. It was dark and I had got a sunburn that day on my face. We were walking and I prayed to know what to do. THE THOUGHT CAME INTO my mind that I needed to ask for forgiveness for him. As I get frustrated with him I tend to not follow him well, am less than a good comp to him, so I asked for forgiveness and told him I was sorry as we walked that night. Right as I said those words I felt my worry care and frustration be swept away with the non existent wind. It was relieving. I then prayed for rain because my burnt face and my burnt out body needed to be cooled and guess what. 10 minutes later it started to dump rain. God answers prayers.

On pday last week we played soccer here at the stake center in sonsonate. Super fun!! None of the other gringos like to play except like one so it was me and him with all the latinos and some kids that came off the street. It was super fun. But I got a nice burn on my face.  It is no fun so I don’t know what I could do for that.

Elder T, our new zl who is standing next to me in a pic I will send is the coolest most awesome person that will ever walk the face of the earth except for probably Christ you guys and my future wife and family, and maybe santa clause. Anyways he is just awesome. But that was last Monday and we found an investigator named WL who is a jw and she wanted to learn about the gospel. I think I already told you about her last week. She was back and forth and didn't know what to think about us mormons. I’ll talk later in the email about her.

On Tuesday, studies were hard in the morning as always. . .  but I try everyday to be humble and learn from him what I can. Last week I told you that I was feeling the chikengunya return, but evidently it was seekay. That is how you pronounce it not how you spell it. It is first pain in the body and then a huge rash and sometimes a fever and a lack of energy.  I got the pain, the rash and a lack of energy but it was mild except for the rash, the rash was bad on Monday and Tuesday. But Tuesday morning I had like no energy and so I drank some of the zip fizz that was in my package and got some advil that you sent me as well! Those things were inspired for you to send me. I felt great the rest of the day and seguired mejor despeus.

There is a familia who are recent converts and the father used to drink. Last Sunday we saw him drinking on the side of the road and talked to him. We met with the family on Tuesday night and he wasn’t there so we taught the rest of the fam about the plan of salvation. We had just finished the lesson when the dad walked in. They are an awesome family. He sat down and looked at us and told us he wanted to learn more about the gospel that he had a desire to learn and read the scriptures. It was sweet, but as I looked into his eyes I could tell what was up. He knew he was falling back into his drinking habits and wasn’t being a good example to his family or daughters. I felt in my heart and knew in my mind from the spirit that he needed help to guard from falling back into drinking and so without his family knowing he asked us to help him in that subtle manner, but only through the spirit did I discern what was the real problem. I thought of in the scriptures when it says, and they did discern his thoughts or whatever. That was me! It was cool.

The sunset that night was absolutely the most beautiful thing ever. The clouds are so awesome here and the colors of the sky are sweet. The light bounced off of the clouds and lit everything up. Extremely cool!! Wednesday I was really homesick and missing school Richland bombers basketball and boating and hiking and trampoline ball and my buddies and Wilson and Benson and Lilly and the food from home and my bed and everything so I looked at the fotos that I have and decided I needed a good cry, I just left it all out.

That night we got Pupusas again. I don’t have my other planner from the first transfer and so I don’t know the exact count because I have it tallied but I have eaten around 140 pupusas so far. That is average amount. I eat 8 to 10 pupusas every time. We go to these ladies when we buy them and they are sooo fun! They are Catholic and they laugh all the time. One is really old and the others are like 30 to 40 years old. There are 3 of them and a joven named leonel! They are a party.

Thursday we found a part member less active family with a daughter  and father who are not members and a mom and son who are. We took them to church on Sunday. It was sweet!!! Teaching them we start outside their house and we were with 3 turkeys, 3 dogs, 3 cats, 8 kittens, 4 parrots and like 10 chickens. Thats how a lot of the lessons are. Turkeys are huge by the way and the sound they make is really loud! jajaja.

That day we had a lesson with WL and we had been teaching her about the book of mormon but during that lesson she had so many doubts and told us she couldn't believe it was true and it was tough. Super sad! She had read and prayed and I could see in her eyes that she had felt the spirit. But she rejected it. Super devastating. AWWWHHHHH!! Why are people not willing to believe! GAH. But that is okay.  She dropped us this week.

Friday I had exchanges with Elder Hallman in his AREA!! Soooo great. I got to really see how good my Spanish has become. His Spanish is still getting there so I carried the lesson and stuff. It was sooo fun!! Super fun and helping people come to Christ was great. Inviting to baptism and everything. Exchanges are my favorite part of the week! Saturday is a blur. My comp in a lesson handed the talking and teaching over to me so I had got five words out before he cut me off and taught something that I evidently wasn’t going to teach. It was so hard to open my mouth after that and teach, he just sometimes doesn't understand that he really just puts a knife through me sometimes. So that day was a trial to not be frustrated.

Patience is the ability to endure suffering and trial or delay without frustration, anger, anxiety or evil thoughts. I tried to quitar the frustration form my life this week. Sunday was tough too. There were so many times. . . .  it's hard to not just be frustrated. Actions speak louder than words. I became frustrated with him that day during church and was soooo over him and wanted to quit and be done. I knew I had to do something. We went home afterward and I went into our room and prayed. Poured out my heart to God and out all my care frustration and everything on Christ. He knows me and had to deal with the pharisees and sadducees when he was a perfect teacher and being, and I not a perfect teacher or human am here with my comp, who is not nearly as bad as the pharisees or sadducees I’m pretty sure. I just dumped everything on Christ in that prayer and felt him take it. I felt the burden made light on my shoulders. Incredible.

Last night we had carne asada and sausage and a baked potato filled with cheese with the familia C and it was the best meal of my life. Sooo fun! This morning we played futbol with the elder and priests in the ward. We got up at 5:45 and went to the capilla to play. So great! I love you all and am trying to still be good but the transfer ends on Nov 20th and then I’ll probably train!! Crazzyy stuff!!! Love you all and keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Elder Ostler

Dressed up like a Nephite Warrior for Halloween

La Montaña Rusa

Translation to the subject line is roller coaster. But first off, how is the family?? I love hearing from you all and what is going down at the home!! Benson before I forget, Tons of people have motorcycles here just as their vehicle to use to get places and I always think of you and smile because you are just the best. Get good grades in school and do the hard stuff because it will prepare you for your future so you can better lead others to do hard things. Dad you are awesome. I am rejoicing over the news with Amanda. God answers prayers. There has probably only been two days that have passed that I haven’t asked for Amanda to be blessed with means to get through it.

This is part of our super jungle area

We played futbol with the zone sonzacate at their chapel which was way fun. Only like 2 other gringos played with me with all of the other Latinos. It was sweet but my legs got eaten by mosquitoes. It was great to run and escape for like a couple hours.

Tuesday we had interviews with president and I have a lot to tell you about that. So of course my comp again told me 10 minutes before we had to leave at 8:30. The normal. First I went with Hermana Hintze and we talked about faith and about being new to the mission. As we talked she told me that a ton of the good missionaries that they would have train are over in Belize. All the new missionaries are trained in El Salvador to learn Spanish and then after their training they can go to Belize for about a year. You go their usually only once for on average like a year. Then you’ll finish there or come back. She said that strong missionaries that come to the mission regardless of their trainer will stay strong.

President Hintze then told me that the new group that is coming in November is a big one and that a lot of my group who is finishing their training this transfer will be senior comps and training next transfer. He told me it is guaranteed I will leave Elder P. How about that? Pretty crazy huh? I am willing and ready to do whatever the Lord asks me to do. 

Wednesday was normal but we had a lesson with a lady named W and she is a jw but not a super dedicated one. In the lesson she directly told us she had question regarding where we come from and what is the whole deal with Adam and Eve. In my mind I was like, lets teach the plan of salvation but my comp tells her we have to start form the beginning. I could not believe it. . . . In the pmg it says countless times, follow the NEEDS of the investigator and the SPIRIT to know what to teach. . . .

On Thursday I had exchanges with the zl Elder F. He is such a good missionary. We set 5 baptismal dates in their area. We were walking down the road and this family was stacking a huge pile of wood so we stopped and helped them. The wood was wet and covered with dirt so that means as sweaty as I was as I worked the dirt stuck to me all over and that was awesome. I loved it. Service, unplanned and fun. We talked with the uncle and two teenagers afterwards and had coke.  I GOT TO TALK AND NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT I SAID!! With Elder F that day I went for it.

Anyways we invited theses three people to baptism and said that they would prepare. It is awesome. Super legit. It was so hot that day too. Later we set a couple more dates with his investigators for the 7th and 14th of November. The spirit was strong when we shared messages and contacted and it was incredible. I got a glimpse of what missionary work can be and really is. I was excited to work and wanted to work like that. Enjoying the work, not dreading it. And that night Elder F’s comp has a uke and it was in the house so I got to play it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was awesome to play the ukulele. It has been like 3 months since I have played it. I am really rusty though jajaja.

We helped someone else that night push their car that was broken down and walking back to the house at 9:30 that night we walked through the park and it was sketchy. Almost every bench in the park was occupied  by one man. Super sketchy, so we got out of there fast jajaj. Stuff like that happens here. It keeps you on your toes! Oh and that day too this bolo, or drunk, wouldn’t leave us alone and got super close while walking towards us so we had to kinda yell at him to leave because he was out of it. It was fun!

Friday was a day as well. We invited 16 people with a baptismal date in our area. That day I enjoyed the work in my area with my comp and thought everything was getting better. He let me contact people on the street so I was filled that day as well, but Saturday it was less fun because my comp had opportunities to tell people they were not following Christ and that they need to repent and he always puts the guilt and culpa on people when they don’t accept the message of the restoration. Saturday was almost exactly opposite of Friday.

Now to answer your questions. NO it never gets cold, when it rains it gets cooler but not cold enough for a jacket. One ap is foreign and one is American. They are awesome. I am two hours in a bus away form the temple and mission office. Gunshots.............yes and you hear about murders and see tons of gangsters at night.  They celebrate dia de los muertos. Look it up. I also got the package this week!!!!!!!!!! TTOOOONNNSSSS of candy and goodies and ties. Love it so much. And I don’t know what I will do with the brownie mix because I don’t want to make brownie pancakes again hahah. Oreos would be nice! If you can send frosting and gram crackers but they will probably break. One of those little hand sanitizer things you hook to a backpack. A notebook with tearable pages. Thank you for the q tips and pens too! I forgot my list at my house but whatever you send will be great!! Send a little thing of cinnamon so I can make more french toast. It is way expensive here. Thank you for all you do. I love you all and am getting through. #thehardesthtingihaveeverdoneinmylife.
Sincerely you homesice,

Elder Ostler

USE YOUR STRENNNNNTH

Wowzers. That was a week! Wilson, I miss you too bud. When I read that you were missing me last night I just started crying. I don’t know why but I just did. Benson and Wilson you guys are awesome. I look up to you two a lot. The world needs strong young men and that is your duty. Be an example everyday to everyone and smile. I worked on that this week. Smiling. Everyday there is something that my comp does or says or doesn't say that causes me to make a decision to how I will react. Those decisions of reaction are internal and so real. I can let frustration and anger take over, or humble myself. I am still here with good old Elder P.

Every week I look back and see how much I have learned and become. Last weeks email was a bit loco because I was frustrated that day and the previous week was way hard, well every week is way hard. The first weeks. . . . .

So I did talk to the Zls and the president. He called me but I’ll get to that later. The zls talked to my comp . . . .it did make it better because at the beginning of the week he started to tell me what was gonna happen and stuff like if there were changes in the agenda he would tell me, but as the week went on. . . . . But it is all good!

Washing clothes this morning

So Monday. After I wrote the email and I was super frustrated, I felt a heavy burden on my back. Heaped up stress and feelings of why am I here, what am I doing, why do I have to be with Elder P? Just burdened with everything. We were at our house and getting ready to go out again but I needed to bañarme so I was walking outside to the bathroom and stopped to look up at the sky. The sun was setting to the right of me behind a mountain, but I couldn't see it. It made the clouds pink and purple and blue and I could see a couple stars and the moon. I rarely see the moon. But it was there and I just prayed while I stood there. I had tried to read the scriptures and pray before but I had felt no relief.

Right there I poured out my heart to my Father in Heaven and imagined Him somewhere out there watching over me. I imagined him as if he was nearby too. I felt that he exists really. That assurance of the spirit was almost palpable. I felt comfort and peace and joy and through the perfect harmonizing and tranquilizing atonement of Christ, I was able to feel peace once more. Our Father in Heaven exists. He is a real being. It was a cool experience. Read Alma 58 10-11. Like Right now jajaj....read it? Good.

I added that in my email last week but that scripture is so evident in my life. The context is that Heleman and his army are suffering super great afflictions and are waiting for assistance patiently with faith in hope in Christ for something better, and in affliction Christ will never leave us alone but like the scripture says, visit us with assurances. We are never alone. There is no way I would be here if not for Christ atoning great. The word atone means to reconcile to peace, or to bring back to harmony. Everyday my soul and mind and heart need bringing back to harmony. That is something I learned in my study this week. Pretty cool.

Anyways that night we had a sweet fhe at the church where we sent a missionary from the ward to the ccm. Super awesome kid. A convert with no family support. I gave him a tie. It was cool to see his example.

Tuesday were transfer calls and so I did not get changed. I wasn't expecting a change so that is all good. It was hard though because there was that little fire of hope. But here I am!

On Wednesday we were doing contacts and got a referral to a lady and her daughter from their neighbor who we just contacted. They brought out chairs and we sat down with them right outside their house. It was muddy and slightly raining. But we talked and got to know them and it was her birthday. I told her happy birthday and when someone tells you happy birthday you have to go give them a hug, but I can’t hug so I just put out my hand to shake and it was kind of awkward because she was like whooo, but that is all good. It was funny.

As we were teaching a little message, or my companion was teaching there was a church across the street that just started jamming to some praise the Lord music with a piano guitar and drums. Suuuppper looud. We were gonna close with a prayer and I started to pray and the music started up again really loud so I could barely hear myself pray. That is just how it is.

There are churches everywhere. Always a keyboard and shouting music and when these people pray it is crazy. I can’t explain it you would have to see it yourself! There are catholics, evangelicals and jws and mormons. Lots of catholics. Lots of catholics. Tons of catholics. Every city has a cathedral. Pretty cool.

On Thursday we had district meeting at the capilla here in castañoi and after we wanted pupusas so we went to pupusas but Elder Andrade, who is still with Elder Hallman, went to a different place that I have never been to before. This lady was old and she seemed kind of out of it. When we got the pupusas we started eating. My first one was okay not really good but it was whatever so I just kept eating the next one. But that was a mistake. That was the grossest thing I have tasted. I don’t know how to describe it. I got another pupusas, because I got 8, and tried another one but that one was also disgusting. It is like when you gag and can’t swallow because it tastes so bad. But I look at this pupusas and there is dog hair. I promise you it was dog hair inside of the beans. It was not a normal frijoles con queso pupusa.

I wrapped the other 6 up and took them home and threw them away. Shortly after my stomach wasn’t doing to hot. The lady first said that the pupusas were 25 cents each and when we paid at the end she told us they were actually 50 cents. She was trying to rake us. Totally. People will do that. We were nice dressed people and this lady clearly wasn’t 100 percent sane. I payed a dollar and 50 cents extra almost twice the price because she wasn’t backing down. Pretty crazy huhh? But whatever! jaja.

Friday night president called me! I wrote him the email and so he called me back! He talked to me how buy beat cinci 38 to 24! hah It was awesome. I talked to him about my comp and he gave me more advice and told me that I won’t be here for long or that I won’t be with him for long. I don’t remember. Now I understand and see that alot of the way my comp treats me and acts is just who he is. He sees his behavior as normal to him but to me it is the opposite of normal.

We had to wait out a huge rain storm. Read that paper..haha

Tons of rain this week. I do use a mosquito net. My bed is a twin. I have yet to fit on a bed and also under a shower. I wash my clothes every week by hand and my chair that I sit on has been broken like that forever. See pic. K fam I gotta go. I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Elder Ostler

Boom Roasted!

Holy thats a week. This week was a week of roastings I could say, though that might be a stretch.

Monday Monday Monday. We went back early and cleaned the house and I have some news!! My comp actually helped me! He cleaned the bathroom to! That was a very big blessing and relief for me. Our mop doesn't have a handle or pole, it is just the end part, the actual part that does the cleaning. I will send a picture. I was craving some good old french toast so I went to the store and got stuff to make it.

Tuesday was normal and all. But another bible bash ensued. Here’s the story. Remember that one lady who I told you about who I said was behind the bars as if in a prison because of her unwillingness to believe, so I don’t know why but my comp wanted to go there again but I didn’t realize we were there until we were there. So yeah. But the lady stands inside her house with the gate there just like last time. I knew what was gonna happen next. The next 35 minutes . . . . . and I didn’t want to be a part of the craziness. . . . . it was just a heap of confusion of words and doctrines. So that was interesting and we leave and as we are walking away my companion starts laughing to himself. It was weird.

That night I made two solid ham and cheese grilled sandwiches. Super rico!!! But I totally burnt one which reminded me of mom. Every day we eat lunch at 12 or 1 and then we go all day and I make dinner at home after we plan and I shower.  I eat again at like 10, my body is all used to it now. Pretty great. It is the best when my comp decides he wants pupusas. If he doesn't want to do it then we don't. So yeah. And that night, Tuesday I was expecting a regular day the next day.

That is a dollar fifty plate for lunch. Super cheap down here

Wednesday morning my comp gets up at 6 which was weird and I thought something was up, but I waited till six thirty and got up. At 6:45 my comp tells me that we are leaving at 7 o’clock to go to a multi zone that he knew about the night before and that morning yet didn't feel obligated to tell me that I could get up a little earlier to eat and get ready. That was not really a surprise. I just expect that kind of thing to happen now. No surprise.

But the multi zone that we had was in sonzacate. It was sweet! saw Elder G and Garfield and Maxwell and Hallman and Mcfarland and it was sweet. Those all from my district but not Elder H or A because they are on the other side of our mission. We had muffins and a free lunch of potatoes and steak and rolls. It was awesome annnnndddd........ I GOT THE PACKAGE!!! Oh man was that good. A letter from Aunt Amy, thank you so much by the way sounds awesome, and Benson and Mom. It was sooo great. Thank you a ton for that care package. I love it. I still have candy and fruit snacks! Deliciousness. And it was very funny the peanut butter granola bar. I laughed.

So I will skip to the really good stories of the week as I am going to write resident. On Thursday we had exchanges again. But this time Elder Hallman came to my area. Talk about a responsibility for me. For 5 weeks you sit under your companion and don’t make decisions and one day you are let free to follow the spirit to lead you to the people who need help. And you are in charge of you area. I was soooo stoked. We visited G and shared a message with him and just listened to him talk. He said he felt pressured with my comp to be baptized and to stop smoking and he said he needed time. With the familia G we talked about his daughter who is really sick and offered help and assurance that the missionaries will always be there.

Pupusas on the street!!!!!!!!

That night we went and got dinner!!!!! We got pupusas. It was incredible!! I loved it. We ate the candy and stuff. In a lesson on Friday my comp was arguing again and getting impatient and frustrated with the guy and so I hopped in and taught the bottled up 15 minute version of the first lesson. I was done closing my mouth and so I just taught. It felt good and the guy was accepting, but afterward my comp told the guy straight up . . . . .  I wasn’t frustrated and I wasn’t mad. I didn’t know what I felt. It was a rough one. One foot in front of the other. I asked my comp three specific times after that how he was and if everything was good but each time I got no response. Talk about confusing. I was humbled that day.

Saturday was a trial. I need to trust in the Lord and His timing for me here and now. Alma 34 41 and also Alma 58 33 and 37. I have learned about faith and hope in Christ during affliction. Thanks for the letters and for all you do. I am keeping my head up. Every day is hard. I pray for the strength to do what I am asked. I love you all. Know I am doing good and there really are great times on the mission. I am roasting in an oven of trial, being purged and purified. And this week was crazy hot.

Sincerely Elder Ostler

Drenched - In All Its Forms

Hey fam!! I love to hear about all of the things going on in your lives!! Super cool!! This week I have tried to communicate more with my comp and ask questions and just talk with him. As a person he is great. Very cool. Super quiet. Weird laugh. Used to be catholic and a convert of 4 years. 25 years old. Wants to be a dj. Likes to beat box.and doesn’t like lasagna. Likes to run. Likes music and used to love coffee. He is the only member in his fam and the last of 4 kids. As I have tried to open up to him he has started to open up to me, but only a little. I can see my efforts paying off a little so that is good.

The thing is though that he will still walk way fast and in front of me. He has asked me exactly one time if I am okay this whole time. It is just whom he is. His communication is gone but I have been able to adapt. Way hard still when he doesn't tell me to bring a change of clothes when we go to the stake center because we are going to offer service so that was great borrowing huge pants and a shirt form the zls house! hahah.

River-like Streets

Going into conference I wanted to know the effective WAY to teach. In my patriarchal blessing regarding my mission it uses the phrase, the way to proselyte and preach, so I wanted to discover that way. The way to teach the gospel. During conference I received an answer as to how I can better receive answers to my questions.

During the Saturday morning sesh Neill F Marriots talk and Larry R Lawrence it was revealed to me with potent spiritual power to my heart soul and mind that right now it is Gods will for me to be here with this companion. It is not my will but Gods will that I am here. I need to break my heart and give it to God so it can be healed. And then FOLLOW THE SPIRIT. The witness of the spirit was so strong. The way to receive answers to my questions is through the spirit. I learned that the way to teach is through the spirit. The people I teach will first feel the spirit touch their hearts. Then they will have a desire to learn and a desire to feel more of the spirit. Then they will show faith and act to repentance if they so choose, but all of the following steps is based on how you teach, if you teach in a climate where the spirit of conversion, truth, power and testimony can testify to the people and the missionaries that this is the gospel that has been restored again with Jesus Christ at the helm of the old ship zion as Elder Ballard said. I love him.

So I received my answer with clarity and power this week regarding how to effectively teach the gospel. How to be a successful missionary. I had this question all week and through preach my gospel the scriptures and conference, I found my answer as it was borne to me in power by the spirit. Now I want you to know that this is not currently how my comp teaches. He tries to convince and persuade. The gospel is just information that the people need to learn. I am not put to the task of helping him see that but he doesn't like to listen to my advice so I have to approach it in a way that will work. So every lesson and contact we have goes like that. But I am not put to the task to fix it, because now I know. Cool beans.

Now I will tell all you some fun stories and what I did this week!!!! Monday I studied patience in the afternoon and learned that it is more than just waiting. It is trusting on the will of the Lord and his timing and doing all you can in our current situation. Humility is key and submitting your will to the Fathers.

Tuesday it rained a ton! And was a regular day with contacts and lessons like I have just told you about. Wednesday was cool. We were just finishing a contact on the street that lasted a whole hour with this man and we were walking to another lesson and this man holding his baby walking with his wife who is holding another baby stops us and says, Elders, my kids are sick, can you give them a blessing? We continued to his house and gave this humble father who is a member but can’t go to church because of work but he reads and prays every day. We gave the two baby girls blessings. It was my second blessing in Spanish. Super cool and I didn’t mess up really. My Spanish is getting more smooth it is cool! I love it. El Salvadoran Spanish is way different!

Thursday I had interchanges with Elder Andrade in the other area. It was cool and I actually ate at a members house that night!!!!!!! It was awesome. We had rice beans, eggs and rolls and juice and fried platanos de gloria. That is fried plantanes with carmel and sugar. Oh so heavenly! During a lesson with Elder Andrade I actually got to teach and speak my heart!!!! I am trying to do that more with my comp. But we taught about the Gospel of Jesus Christ to a recent convert and an investigator. It was awesome!!!!! The spirit was soooo strong!

I got contacted while on intercambios by the JWs!! Good reading

Friday was normal just working hard and sweating! Saturday was some serious rain. Rain like you have never seen. Thunder that literally rattles the tin roofs. I was soaked. We got back from the estaca where we watched the session of incredible conference that expanded my mind and we were going home and the rain was awesome. I will send some pics! We went home and I changed my soaked shoes and socks and we set out for the ward building for the priesthood session. I got there and my shoes were soaked after we walked on the river like streets to pic up investigators and remind them of the conference tomorrow and none of them came. Sad.

But I was in the office with Elder Hallman and watched the conference in English but the conference was pausing a lot so I missed the President Monsons talk completely and the Sunday afternoon session of the conference and we had to watch the Sunday afternoon session in Spanish cuz English was soo slow!

But I wanted brownies and we don’t have an oven because the electricity is so expensive. I made them like pancakes and bought frosting last pday and boy was it a treaty!!!! SOO awesome!!! I wrang my socks out of water into the garbage can. Drenched because of the rain.

Me ringing out my socks because of the rain.

We are in the office at the church watching priesthood session.

Here are some more stories from Sunday night. Last night we were at a members house and eating some sweet chicken lasagna that was soooo incredible. It was like 8:30 and we were wrapping up the meal. This family is a young one with three kids. The youngest kid is like 3 years old and was crazy hyped. We suddenly hear the daughter scream and laugh as she stands next to her brother who just laid a nice turd on the ground. He totally pooped his pants!! jajajaj super funny! And the other night there was a guy with a hardcore lisp speaking super fast El Salvadoraneo espanol. I was so surprised I could understand him. He told me that all the Americans up in the states were super smart. He was funny.  It is going well and I am learning soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. I love it but it is hard. 
Love you all!

Elder Ostler